When it's more than worry

It sounds so simple. . . Do something you love and you'll feel better. But I know from living with extreme worry that as much as we wish it was simple, it really can feel so tough. . . Sadly, Mental Health limits our moments of peace. 

In the deep whirlpools of our minds the fear is real and no amount of relaxing eases that uncomfortable feeling within. It churns our stomach, tickles the back of our necks, weighs heavy on our shoulders and yet everything is heightened. Senses, emotions, reactions. Like an anchor holding us down, we fight for air.

 I'm no stranger to emotional well being and Mental Health topics. I feel it all. I believe it all. I live with one. . . And some of my loved ones do too. It feels acceptable to share it amongst kind, creative souls behind a screen, yet to discuss it openly with a professional can feel alien and deeply embarrassing. Its like holding out your wounded parts to strangers and hoping no one will mis handle them. 

Whilst we all feel anxiety and worry, not all of us experience it at a clinical level.  Looking at online life and people expressing themselves off-line too, this is what I'm sometimes afraid of with the new light being shone on our emotional well being . . . 

 * People reacting negatively to any emotion they feel that is unpleasant, and mistakenly labelling it as a Mental Health Disorder. Clinical Mental Disorders and needing to take a Mental health day are two very different ends of the scale. Yet they're both valid.

* High Functioning Mental Health sufferres struggling out of sight of the real help. Left to muddle through solo. 

* People who think Mental Illnesses are trendy and vulnerability attracts attention. Sadly this is happening too much. We don't want the credibility lost when people open their hearts. 

* Copy catting another's Mental Health Story. 

* People accepting struggles others face online - but not off line - when a warm gaze of acknowledgment means so much, yet is not offered. 

Speaking up with something personal is never easy. In fact it can make us re coil. So, instead, in those moments when treading water in the whirlpool and when you're trying to embrace an activity that you love, but cannot focus on - maybe just allow yourself to be. . . Be here. Be true to yourself. Take a moment. . .  And remember you're fighting a battle, but no one can see the war zone. But my, you can feel it. 

 No matter what you're afraid your Mental Health will be perceived as - keep going, keep believing and try to keep your own music gently playing amongst the noise of other people's. Each story has its place. Simple worry does too.

It took me over 10 years to find the answers I needed. But the world felt quieter then. Now there is a bright light shining on Mental Health, but we mustn't let it fade into the noise as the interest grows. Because if it really is something that needs supporting, we need to get the right responses to make all the difference, and encourage everyone to see that sometimes it really is more than just worry. 

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