'Don't fit into a box ~ create your own'
(Inspiration from Marianne Cantwell)
Some days become mountains too steep to climb. Our minds can build up a fog within making it very difficult to see where we are going. Little parts of us slip into the self doubting territory and the questioning begins, the undermining of oneself, the lack of belief, soon it's a vortex of swirling and whirling overwhelming fear - and just like that we've forgotten all that makes us special.
Such is being human. . . .
Growing up, my heart belonged to the countryside and my family - anything outside of that and I would crumble. I didn't fully understand then that I was living with an Anxiety Disorder which governed much of my mind and outlook on the big wide world.
As I took baby steps to build my life as a young adult, I found myself coming up against people who would try to change 'who I was'. It was quite painful to not be simply accepted just as me. I am all for encouragement and support in helping each other grow, but not judgment and 'pull yourself together' conversations. I'm sure you agree?
You see, I think people thrive better when allowed to just be who they are without question. We shouldn't need permission from others to simply be ourselves, we should give ourselves the permission . . .
I have been thinking about this a lot recently as I embark on trying to support myself and my ponies on my own terms. I want to learn and grow and improve, but I do not want to lose who I am or question myself as I go forth . . .
Then it came to me. For my senior schools I was home educated. It was the most wonderful experience for me and I did indeed step out of 'trying to fit' in the school box, and instead 'created a box' that suited me.
It seems, I should apply this now I'm on a new adventure as a young woman in my late twenties. I mustn't forget how freeing it was to step away from school, to learn in my own way and to build a future embracing all the little parts that make up 'me' . . .
I think if I remember this . . . then just maybe the self doubt will fade, courage will grow and confidence will stay intact as I navigate a new path for myself.
I hope you are able to do the same?
Give yourself permission to just be yourself in every little area of your life. . . .
It seems the more I dwell on this, the more I see small signs of encouragement pop up which say, 'You're on the right track' . . .
If I am, then you are too : )
With love for a positive Easter week ahead . . .