Sweet summer sadness

It can feel very tough to let people down can't it? Often they see something good, beautiful and true and want to share it in too. But the trouble is, when you're not feeling very well in your mind, it is incredibly hard to keep the magic experiences alive and bright. It's as if to continue making the light, your own candle goes out.  This is what has happened for me this summer, as I've closed the doors on a chapter of my life that became very special but equally pushed my candle to go out. It happened through no ones fault. It simply happened because I forgot that's it's okay to acknowledge when you're not so well.

I've had to re set just now. And it isn't easy to do that. The sun is shining, the days are warm and the wild flowers touch every corner of the Meadow pasture. It's beautiful to the eye. But below the surface you can notice the cracks from the dry ground, the dried petals that haven't made it and the road outside our gate sends growling engines roaring by, cutting through the birdsong with an urgency that depletes the stillness. Sumner is not quiet in the countryside. It's bustling.  And sadly, I feel like I should be too. But I can't. Not just now.  I feel a little like the petals. Fading too soon in the endless summer sun shine. . .

The combines send dust clouds into the air, and the scent of meadow hay floats on the breeze. I watch it all from my quiet corner. It's thriving out there. But I am not. And I must admit with kindness - that it's okay. It's really okay. Just like the season transforms itself so shall I. But now, time, acceptance and a gathering together of sorts is needed. You cannot light others candles if your own is unable to stay golden and radiant. But, as I know all too well. It won't be out forever . . . 

If summer has its struggles for you. I hope you know I am thinking of you and that you're not alone . .  

Best wishes x 

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