Fear and me

We all know what it feels like to be afraid. Fear is such an overpowering emotion which has a great influence on how we live our lives, make choices and decisions and even how we communicate and conduct ourselves with others!

It is designed to keep us out of harms way...but sometimes this self protection mode goes into overdrive and blurs the lines of real danger versus imagined danger. Our minds can get so stuck at moments that we can lose ourselves in the immense fears whirling around our minds, until our world becomes very small.

Smaller world....less to hurt us or our loved ones!

A couple of days ago...I thought everything in my little comfort zone, my small world -  was safe. My numerous double checks were complete, my prayers said...all was well.

And then, out of the blue, one of my worst fears happened. My world crumbled inwards. I lost someone very, very special to me. And all of my fears became so suddenly my reality. I could not and was not prepared. But amazingly, I got through that dreadful day....I don't know how...but I did.

Accepting that no amount of planning and controlling is going to stop your fears from coming true, but not living your life desperately afraid that they will happen....is a hard lesson for one such as me. In all honesty, for anyone.

At present, I have to train my mind to manage the fears within. Rather than live with the fear that they will come true and everything will fall to pieces.

Life is full of uncertainties - but recovering after our world has imploded is possible - and although the sky may fall in for a little while, it will always brighten up again and our broken hearts mend. We regain our control - with an assured feeling inside that we can indeed cope when something tremendous happens that rocks our world and casts us out to sea.

Life has a wonderful way of putting things back to together again in the face of tragedy. All we can really do is enjoy and cherish each day. Change things if we are not happy. Keep safe within reason. And create memories that give us something to live and fight for.

The more control we strive for, the less joy and happiness we feel and life becomes a hardship focused on preserving and survival - rather than making the most of every moment and feeling the sheer wonder that is ' life ' 

I don't know if I'll be able to surrender all of my control overnight, but I do now know this ...

'Louisa May Alcott' 


I often think we can't really blame our fear fueled instincts for trying to intervene and protect us the way it does, especially when there is so much to quite naturally be fearful of in everyday life.
But if our fear is an irrational one, then we can try to work at overcoming it and making sense of it. When it is just our conscience speaking up declaring 'that's not safe' or even simply 'that's not right for me,'  then it's time to listen.

I hope as I get better at sailing my ship, I allow my fear a break from it's over protection and prove to myself that I can and will be okay with what ever life brings my way.

With love 


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